Do you have the same argument over and over with someone?

Do you have a friend, family member, or partner where you seem to have the same argument over and over again? What is the argument about and why do you feel it keeps coming up without getting resolved?

Sarah

3 months ago

ISFJ

Virgo

1w2

1 2

Yesssss. Usually my ex husband and my mom. My ex husband: parenting our child .. rather, his lack of parenting. And the importance of our son eating his allergy friendly foods and taking his medicines. My mom: tons of stuff. She's unmedicated bipolar and lies about inconsequential things. We argue when i call her out on a lie.

Matthew

3 months ago

INTJ

Gemini

5w4

5 4

Unmedicated bipolar. And I thought I had it bad with my mom. My mom takes medication for her anxiety, but it is not well managed. To the point where when her husband called EMS because she fell, she told them she wanted to kill herself. And then she was surprised that she ended up in the psych ward. She's in assisted living right now. She constantly complains about her living situation, and I just can't go through "who's on first" with her again ... because it doesn't make any sort of difference. I've gone round and round with her for the last two years ... and now, when she goes there, I tell her to change the subject or I will hang up on her. She refuses to change the subject, so I tell her "I love you. Goodbye." We've been doing this a lot lately. And, just for the record, she has complained like this her whole life. I don't think I have ever seen her happy ... regardless of her circumstances. I've talked with people who say I should affirm her feelings even if her facts are wrong. She tells me I am a lousy son for hanging up on her. And, you know what, I probably am. Oh, sorry. I think I forgot I wasn't in a counseling session. What was the question again?

Sarah

3 months ago

ISFJ

Virgo

1w2

1 2

I totally get it. I hate having to treat my mom so coldly sometimes but i can't have her narcissism, lying, manipulation, and self destruction around my son. And I don't need the stress of it. Don't validate her feelings to avoid confrontation. People who suggest that likely have no idea what it's like living with someone like that.

Matthew

3 months ago

INTJ

Gemini

5w4

5 4

Thanks, Sarah. And I agree ... you should protect your son from that. It's just sad you have to.

☀🌿 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 🌿☀

3 months ago

INTP

Sagittarius

1w9

1 9

I have religious arguments all the time with my Muslim friend.

Are either of you on the fence, or both totally opposed?

☀🌿 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 🌿☀

3 months ago

INTP

Sagittarius

1w9

1 9

Completely opposed and I haven't heard any convincing argument from a religious person to date.

Me either

Saurav

3 months ago

ENFJ

Pisces

6w5

6 5

No, I don't have such arguements. Usually the understanding is greater between friends so as to not make the specific topic of discussion a thing. My friends and I respect each other's opinion even at point of disagreement. As for family members, shutting them down is clearly dependent on the tonality in which you present your counter arguement.

Yana

3 months ago

INTJ

Sagittarius

8w7

8 7

Not really, unless the automatic hostility from my parents side towards any new boyfriend I may have counts as one. In that case, welcome to asian/semi-asian world.

Allen

3 months ago

INTJ

Pisces

9w1

9 1

Arguing with a person is like talking to an inanimate object. People are far less willing to consider your opinion when they feel they have to defend their own. Rather, it's better to have a calm, rational, open discussion about your ideas. If they can't understand your perspective then accept that everyone's reality is different. Short answer: no. Arguing is pointless.

Nope if the person gonna keep repeating it gonna be the same.. I ain't a recorder...