How’s everyone day so far??

Really trying so hard to not let the same person hurt me over and over again... but I am so weak... I care too much. How do I just ignore them 😩 call me pathetic too.... but I'm also really so tired of crying and panicking... I deserve better for sure, but I can't pull away. sorry rant over

Waking up mad pissed is something else. 🤦‍♀️maybe because I slept angry😂I woke up grumpy anyways how do you all deal with anger,I have never really learnt to deal with it,I always thought it wasn't right to be angry,so I would Pent it up. How do you calm yourself down?

~ ctto: @more.gentle. Reminders.

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Hi, I felt this was the best # to post because during these... 2, maybe 3 months (I'm not good with time) of graduating from Arclabs Welding, I FINALLY found a job I think I will be really happy in. Will it be forever? Probably not. Am I keeping my options open still? Absolutely. But I spent every day of these months questioning my skills, questioning my manhood, waiting on phonecalls after reaching out, trying to find work that would be fair to my skills, work that didn't demand me to be 20 but with 25 years of experience. On top of that my boyfriend... for lack of better words broke up with me, just completely dropped contact and blocked me out of the blue very recently. I want it to be clear I have NO ill-will, I've grieved, I'm moving on, and I wish them best because right now they need to work on themselves because they're at a really low point; issues that are too personal to plaster to the public & are his demons, not mine. Please wish them luck, I want nothing but the best of them. But just one thing after another of not being able to make money, unable to literally move on and grow in my life, to him, to other things. I tried drowning it in smoking and I fortunately picked back up on playing trumpet and it's made me happy, but I was yelling until I tasted blood. I punched the walls (in the shed, they're bouncy dont worry) and would just go insane trying to drown the thoughts, especially with how I'm uneducated. I want to thank My best friends Daniel and Riven for helping me feel better during this time in my life and continuing to do so. They've helped me feel secure with myself, and for me to feel safe moving on, and gave me confidence during this time of uncertainty. I also want to thank my grandma and uncle, the people I live with. I would never be in the position I am today or have had the environment to be the - I'd like to think - good person I am today. And I plan to make them proud and finally pay them back for all the help they've given me since birth. But yeah! Obviously there is no guarantee, but i did all the tests there and they said VERY bluntly that I am their top candidate, and I WILL get an answer tomorrow. And y'know what? If i still don't get it, I'm just happy to have finally gotten to be under the hood and lay some beads again after so long. It's decent pay for my skills, Insurance, 401k match, and lots of well-needed hours. I have my options open if this doesn't work out, but it's given me such a big confidence boost and that's enough for me if nothing else. One last note for others struggling out there, as someone who was baker acted, who would drown my problems in tobacco, weed, alcohol, games, would scream, would inflict burns myself with my Tig torch, who is casually suicidal (functioning-suicidal, if you will) would be so nasty to the people I love only to apologize later, please don't take what I'm going to say as someone who's MADE it, take it as someone who still has a LONG way to go, is in this hellhole with all of you, and has simply picked up things along the way: It's amazing how far you will go and have become if you can be patient with yourself. Sorry for the cliche metaphors, but If you treat this like a sprint towards success, you will never be happy. Stop trying to see the forest, look at the trees. Try to stop looking at the bigger picture in such a toxic way, idolizing it and beating yourself for not being there. When I draw, I just go for it, doing one tiny line at a time until it creates a rough image, then I add details, details, and details, little things no one cares or notices, but if they weren't there the picture wouldn't be the same. This is the exact same for life. Or trumpet. After years of beating myself up for being terrible at music theory, and always wanting to be the next Maynard Ferguson, I've finally bought a book to get me back into playing, and an practicing just a little bit every day. And already I'm getting better, and I know in a year from now I'll be so much better than I EVER was in school, because I'm not focusing on being Maynard, I'm focusing on notes, holding them, my chops, being in-tune, etc. I'm focusing on these little details and recieving little boosts of dopamine every time I overcome these little obstacles, and It's been making me so much happier. I truly hope you all have a good day, If no one reads this quite frankly idgaf I just needed somewhere to vent :v

Hello if you all are looking for an emtional support group you can join my server plus no need to be shy nor embarrassed everyone is welcome dm me!

Manage what you feel confident you can achieve, get as close as you can. Don't sacrifice your well being just to prove you could go a little further when your mind and body have said no. What you're work on here today, will probably be here tomorrow. Learn to give yourself some slack. Treat yourself (and others) with respect

Hello if you are looking for an emtional support group you can join my server plus no need to be shy nor embarrassed everyone is welcome 😊♡ DM me if you want to join 😊

Every one goes. 🤙

Hello if you are looking for an emtional support group you can join my server plus no need to be shy nor embarrassed everyone is welcome 😊♡ DM me

Can't believe next week is July, time flys when you're mentally unstable

So, this breakup is taking a toll on me and is going affect how fast I reply to everyone or get to requests. I'll still be around, but also taking mental breaks because honestly I'm exhausted from how hard I fought for something that obviously wouldn't workout but I put all my effort to it anyways hoping it would get better and I'm also just flat out sad But I'll see everyone soon!