Ask Me Anything

#funny

I work at a butcher shop and yesterday something caused all the product the fall on the floor.

#funny

I consider Google Maps ETA to be a challenge.

#funny

Farts

Who else still finds farts funny? Anything super vulgar that catches me off guard will get a chuckle. Where are my weirdos!? 🤣🤣💨💨💨💨

#funny

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

#funny

I just ended a 5 year relationship

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I posted a little old clip of me on my profile. Scroll down. Hopefully it makes you laugh. 😂😂😂 Comment your thoughts on it.

#funny

Biggest reason why I think my younger self would probably be disappointed in and less likely to get along with my older self:

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Which part of the house do you always hang around when you want some 'me' time?

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Can we all just agree that the words "silent but deadly" nearly always refers to gas?

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strange AF

so, all my life, and truly, all my life. ive heard the stories from just about every relative on repeat for years, i have a massively hard time sleeping. 12 hour work days dont put me down Big meals Lots of excersise Reading... NOPE Pills, Pot... Nope Drinking used to but I quit that horrible habit. Anyway, so before anyone gets all judgy and tells me how my body needs sleep and I should fix it trust me, I try and Ive seen everyone. Back to my point... MRI machines, people hate em, me, best little nap ever. Also, today I get my next 2 tattoos done, fell asleep. How, who knows, haha but hey I found a way to sleep!

#funny

9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I’m crazy. The tenth is just humming.

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PLUNGERS READY 🚽🪠

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😋

I’m the type of person that’s up at 3am dancing to Michael experience on YouTube 💀

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That awkward moment when you overhear a joke in someone else’s conversation and accidentally laugh out loud.🤣

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Is "ugh" an emotion?

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If I really wanted to hurt myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.

#funny

Sometimes we can also be a secret agent or a sniper. 🤣🤣🙌👊👊