You know what I can't stand?

When I match with someone and put in a lot of effort into a message, pointing out something I like or relate to in their profile and finish off with a question, sometimes all I get in return is a few words like "Yeah I agree!" or "Sure" or something along those lines. Then I call them out on their lack of interest and say "Just a suggestion, but responding with a few words shows that you're not interested. You can go ahead and unmatch with me whenever you're ready." The last girl I said that to had the audacity to say "I'm busy with work and your question was a yes or no question" defensively. Yeah because the little question I had at the end of my long thought out message was the only thing you could respond to right? 🙄 And you're talking about work as if you're always working (btw the 2 responses she gave were stretched over 3 days, so it's not like she didn't have time.) Guys... don't make excuses. If you're not interested, don't bother messaging and just unmatch. Just wondering... why does everyone come here looking to give advice like they're a guru or something? I didn't ask for advice and I certainly don't need it 🙄

Some people are overwhelmed with too many messages at once, and some appreciate the thoughtfulness. But point is, you have to feel that out, not everyone is the same. And you are definitely shooting yourself in the foot by saying the quiet part out loud and getting blunt and rude with others. They will definitely not want to talk with you after such a message. What I do is try and relate to something on their profile, and if I notice they are messaging back less often or with less content, I try to match their pace and shorten my own responses down. Not every convo has to be a huge and elaborate digging into one's soul. Actually that can be really heavy and off-putting when you just start talking with someone or meet them for the first time. Let things come up naturally.

Respectfully disagree. It's really this simple... the people that want to talk with you, will make the time and put in the effort to do so. If you think that me saying "Just a suggestion, but responding with a few words shows a lack of interest. Go ahead and unmatch with me whenever you're ready" is being rude.... then wow I really underestimated how much of a snowflake society we live in now.

The problem is, people don't know you. You are two strangers. If their only interaction with you ends in "go ahead and unmatch me", well you will get what you asked for. Are you expecting a different response? I'm suggesting you try a different approach to talk with different people. But if you want to stick to the same approach and you are looking for a very specific flow of conversation, then you will lose out on a lot of potential connections until you click with someone who matches your exact energy. I guess if that is what you want, then go for it. But you seem to be upset when people fall below your expectations that you are setting up before even knowing them. That is unhealthy and will leave you disappointed.

I agree with you but then I wonder why do you wait for them to unmatch you? Just unmatch them and move on 🤷‍♀️. Not everyone has the cognitive ability to sustain deep conversations over a long period of time. Accept it and don't stay too long on those who can't give what you're looking for. The type of people who can do that are very very rare. Not only online but also in real life.

I do unmatch with everyone 99% of the times this happens. It was just this particular case where I felt I wanted to say something and the only way I'd know she read it, is if she unmatched with me herself. I've mentioned it in a thread in this post with James

Wow, it's almost like you don't understand you aren't a priority in everyone's life. No one owes you anything. No matter how well thought out your comment.

Start small, observe and work up to the meaningful stuff. Otherwise, you will be wasting energy.

I am really enjoying reading the variety of responses this topic has created lol

If I took the time to write lengthy responses to every dm I received that literally would be all I do in my day. LOL! Dating and building relationships is a way for me to enhance my life and bring joy, its not a job and if someone tries to make me feel that way, in just not going to play. Sorry.

Not asking for a lengthy response. Asking for a bit more than a few words. If you're not planning on communicating, then don't bother at all. Also, no one responds to EVERY DM in their inbox. You evaluate someone's profile and whether they could be a potential match for you, THEN you respond if they do fit the bill. And don't get me started on the concept of time and excuses.

why is everyone arguing? guess i’ll mediate. to op: your response comes off as blunt in a highly social situation. this is very much a dance of building interest and being polite. i don’t like it, but that’s the expectation. Props for your honesty, but it’s unlikely for everyone to match your energy. i suppose that’s a politer way of saying people aren’t going to dedicate as much energy as you would like. Your response seems highly uncalled for because it challenges what the expectation is socially. However, I do understand the decision to choose honesty. it’s frustrating, but it’s also misleading to assume people have the same expectations you do.

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Women have an overwhelming advantage in dating apps and their DMs can easily overwhelm them. Unless you're the top few that kept her interest, chances are you're lost in the sea of other men who also failed to catch their attention. Just move on until you find one who can have genuine interest in you.

True, and you can keep talking with a chick that only reply es one word but it never going to get more interesting 😂😴 Whenever I get that kind of response and see it's the same after a while I just move on. No need to get offended or expect anything from sonething that's awful from the start. I have better conversations with a rock any day, also more interesting women.

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Who gonna tell bro.... cause obviously the other dudes aren't. If a girl isn't interested there's probably not much you can do bro, the girls on this app and every other have multiple options.. you are just another option as great as you think your msg was it wasn't. Not to her atleast, and once you get hostile, you're basically throwing all chance you had out the door. Like many have said she doesn't owe you anything, even a response at all. And people often are busy you've just got baggage you need to drop, not everyone is lying to you.

I feel you. Unfortunately, vulnerable people and those with fewer social skills, less time, less energy, and more options learned unresponsiveness makes interaction and rejection easier. Generally, it helps to not come on too strong, work on your humor, be a little persistent, and then ease into more revealing topics/questions.

Lmao if telling them to go ahead and unmatch whenever they're ready is coming on too strong, then I'm a clueless soul 😂

Ngl bro, sounds strong enough to me 😂

gotta understand that no matter how much effort you put into a profile or communication you are always at a deficit interacting for the first time through text. i would say most people don't really understand a relationship until you're face to face with that person. keep going homie, but don't bash your head ceaselessly into the wall.

I feel you, i dont care if they put in as much effort as i do but they can do better than "yes" or "sure" at least put enough that the guy has something to work with if nothing else

Preach brother

Literally sent a well thought out greeting and icebreaker only for her to immediatly ask me to send her money 😮‍💨

There are a lot of sharks in the water, watch where you're swimming....

Give anyway. Maybe the recipient is simple, or perhaps uninterested, or even shy, but none of that matters. Just be yourself effortlessly, and the effort disappears. Whatever they give back, whether it meets expectations or not, is what they have to give.

Some people just don't care, and you can tell easily by how much effort they put into their communication with others. Non-living energy always follows the path of least resistance. Only life can choose the path of more resistance. ⚡✨😊✨⚡

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Guy is blunt and brings up a very common and largely relatable problem. He then ask the perpetrators to not make excuses. Whadaya know they continue to make excuses with irrelevant, half assed logic that doesn't actually address what he was talking about. That's because the core of this problem stems from the lack of consideration of others feelings. What happened to "Oh my bad, I'm sorry I'll keep that in mind for the future."? Nahhhh, rather, there are no problems in their mind up until you create one by calling something out.

Totally relate but what's worse is a nice little ongoing conversation that lasts one day and then ghost, like they lost interest and got bored or something but no obvious reason in the dialog for just being cutoff

Regardless of how well I craft a first message, I'm lucky if I get that. Their loss. I just can't stand the lack of effort & manners these days, whatever happened to respect? If I'm not interested I'll say so, if I get a message from a chic that interests me I put in some serious effort.

It's AA flag for sure. Replies like "ok". or 3 word sentence to your paragraph means, move along. So what if they have too many things on their plate. There is no justification for not reciprocating. Don't waste second on someone who won't give you a minute.